Monday, September 29, 2008

Relapse!

With the insane, it's not so much how they behave, it's about what sort of conversation they're having with themselves. It's kind of silly in a way, but their behavior largely depends on their imaginary companion(s). These relationships, bordering on the parasitic, inhibit normal social interaction to varying extents. It's a lot like having a neurotic muppet latched to your face that you're compelled to obey. Episodes as such can range from mounting kittens with bottles, to believing in one's innate ability to fly off steep ledges. A serial killer, for example, would simply be sexually repressed manchild with a particularly enthusiastic imaginary companion.

On my run this morning, I saw a hobo having a very stimulating conversation with his imaginary companion; something to do with dental hygiene. These varietals are mostly harmless, except for that one off moment of lucidity every month or so when they start clawing at you for loose change and the nutritious muck off your boot.

But the other kind, I think their imaginary companions do really bad things to them. They go on a regular basis from being distraught and miserable, to angry, and finally violent, flailing their hands in the air at the imaginary terror muppets. Most of the time their ravings are largely ineffectual, but as the terror muppet latches on tighter and tighter every passing day, they become drawn deeper into the psychosis. Soon enough they're either monstrously deranged sociopaths, or drooling zombies.

So my idea is this, if we could somehow beat these imaginary mops into submission, we could ideally have a world full of socially acceptable mad people. And then we'd move on to producing billboards specifically aimed at selling products for imaginary people. That's like a whole new target demographic!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If that marketing scheme ever falls into place, imaginary companions everywhere will be bothering their real counterparts for products and merchandise. My imaginary companion is grinning evilly at the idea already. I must give him a good talking to!

alien_child said...

'But the other kind, I think their imaginary companions do really bad things to them. They go on a regular basis from being distraught and miserable, to angry, and finally violent, flailing their hands in the air at the imaginary terror muppets.'

Can't...thinkwhere you got that one.

yvonen s. said...

we already live in a world full of socially acceptable mad people...case in point(s): that woman who sued McDonalds because she burned herself with her coffee, Miley Cyrus fans, Sarah Palin, you, me. it's an existence. :)

Isa said...

ah,but i see opportunity
imagine, a whole new marketing strategy/job market opening up.

imagine, imaginary friend translators!
:for those with imaginary companions who dont speak the same language as you!

imagine, the revolution of the clothing industry!
:deck your imaginary friend in the lastest invisible apparell, all from the biggest brands around!

imagine, imaginary apple i-everythings!
geared for the imaginary friend who needs his ipod/iphone/imac/ifuckinglife fix as much as you do.

plus, imagine the savings on landfills cuz all these products are... well, instantly biodegradable.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps we should just go to R'lyeh and kill Cthulhu. Maybe that would stop the terror muppets.