Awesome-O!

Hooah! KCL ho! Second win of the month, gents.

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Yesterday, I sky-dived from a bomber jet. It was an amazing experience. I was using one of those new high-tech voice-activated parachutes, which are navigated by GPS to land exactly where you tell them to.

I landed at the far right table of my favorite cafe and ordered an espresso. For the entertainment of the regular visitors, I then took a single coffee bean, placed it on my tongue and spun it with such force that it created a tiny black hole around my mouth, which sucked in three grown men, a bottle of cognac and a double-parked Fiat "Punto".

I apologized for this little mishap to the cafe owner, paid for the cognac, and gave him my handcrafted Rolex from the future as a sign of my benevolence. This unique watch has the habit of letting you know when something nasty is about to happen to you. The only problem being that it's highly accurate, so it actually notifies you via a frantic buzzing sound exactly three nanoseconds before said nastiness. Of course, there is a section in the manual which explains how to increase this delay to something to the effect of 30 minutes, but I completely forgot it in the future.

All in all, was an amazing day yesterday.