Duplicity!

It starts when you're little. Some of the first things you figure out are how to cozen, cheat, con and, possibly, flimflam in order to get your way. You start thinking, well, Mum's already brought me to the toy store, now if I just break down and bite a couple of employees she'll HAVE to buy me that Transformer Furby! Then school kicks off and you continue to fabricate all these new and interesting lies to pull through yet another uneventful semester, from telling the kindergarten teacher your Granddaddy kicked the bucket while he's out shooting quail in the backyard to buying the dean a 21 year-old Glenlivet as a good-will gesture. By the time you are confronted with the job market, that's when you realize you're in already waist-deep in the roiling shite; doomed to become a drone for the rest of your pathetic and insignificant existence.

You open your eyes, you take the red pill and the painful truth finally hits you like an epileptic ox. You're not as free as you thought, you're working for THEM and it's not a sweet life. Maybe you should've taken the blue pill.

Now, go have a damn drink ya pillocks.